A few weeks ago, I published a post called Bibliography in which I listed every book I’ve ever had published, along with some notes about each piece. It got a nice response and got me thinking about all the projects over the years that I either finished but never published or completely abandoned during the writing process. For brevity’s sake, I think the only way to do this properly is to only talk about books. If I also went into short stories in this category, we’d be here forever. What follows is Part 2 of a list of all my unpublished or unfinished books, from the time I started writing up to the present day. The best way to do this, I think, is to divide this post into three parts. The first was my childhood works. Today’s entry will cover my teenage writings. Part 3 will be my adult pieces.
ARNOLD BANE: This was me writing a pulp hero before I knew what a pulp hero was. Probably obvious, but I got the name by combining Schwarzenegger with a Batman villain. In most of these stories, he fought to save his city from his seemingly immortal nemesis Nick Jackson (who I probably named after a bully). As the series progressed, I incorporated a revenge narrative where the hero loses his family and tries to find their killer, and a story in which he gets framed for something and works to clear his name. I don’t remember if I wrote any of these down, to be honest, but I acted them out in my backyard pretty regularly.
LIFE FORM, WHERE THERE’S SMOKE THERE’S FIRE, THE ALIEN WARS: These are three books that might not have been intentionally related, but could very easily have been a series. You know the deal. Alien invasion apocalypse. Starts small, escalates, lots of shit blows up. My attempts to write these down never really satisfied me, but I kept at them for years. I kind of want to revisit them now.
STEELTECH, TX-2000, DARK FUTURE: I remember no plot details, but I’m sure they were my attempts to ape what I liked about the first two Terminator movies (which was FUCKING EVERYTHING). I don’t remember how much I wrote down, but I did some cool drawings I’ve since lost. I know they were cool, because a kid in my sixth-grade class threatened to kick my ass if I didn’t Xerox some copies to give him. Hey… maybe he still has them. Maybe he has the originals. Jerk.
THE ENEMY: A court jester from medieval times that’s also a vampire wreaks havoc on a small Pennsylvania town for some reason. Two kids and a priest band together to thwart it with an ancient dagger.
CRIMSON FALLS: An ancient creature that’s lived under a town for so long that it’s part of the town takes the shape of a wolf/dragon thing and terrorizes a group of kids. I really fucking wanted to write IT when I was younger. Jesus.
NEON LASER X: This was my fucking epic. A prison of war in a dystopian/cyberpunk future joins a group of rebels to overthrow the tyrannical government. Followed by the sequels, NEON LASER XTREME (back off, it was the 90s) and NEON LASER X 3000.
Well, that was… a thing. I hope you’ve enjoyed laughing at my expense.
About a week and a half ago, I published a post called Bibliography in which I listed every book I’ve ever had published, along with some notes about each piece. It got a nice response and got me thinking about all the projects over the years that I either finished but never published or completely abandoned during the writing process. For brevity’s sake, I think the only way to do this properly is to only talk about books. If I also went into short stories in this category, we’d be here forever. What follows is Part 1 of a list of all my unpublished or unfinished books, from the time I started writing up to the present day. The best way to do this, I think, is to divide this post into three parts. The first will just be my childhood works. Part 2 will cover my teenage writings. Part 3 will be my adult pieces.
THE SKELETON: I wrote this when I was seven-years-old after seeing Stephen King’s Silver Bullet on Halloween night, an event which made me fall forever in love with the horror genre. I don’t remember a whole lot about the plot, if there was one, but basically there was a castle in which a skeleton resided. The titular villain killed anyone dumb enough to trespass on his abode. If I recall correctly, the castle overlooked an old European style village. This leads me to believe that maybe Silver Bullet wasn’t my first horror movie, because aesthetically, I pictured this book looking like Dracula, specifically the version starring Bela Lugosi. Maybe I did see some of the Universal monster movies, but nevertheless, the King movie was what made me want to write horror. I took a stack of copy paper, folded it down the middle, and basically made a chapbook (before knowing what a chapbook was). I put a few sentences of narrative on each page, along with some ink illustrations. I’m pretty sure I tried selling copies of this chapbook to neighbors for a buck a piece.
THE SKULL: I remember this a lot less clearly, except that I was inspired by the VHS cover to the movie Graveyard Shift and it precedes what would later develop into an obsession with floating head movies (Cemetery Man, Zombi 3). Maybe also worth mentioning is the fact that it has no relation to THE SKELETON, though it definitely was the second installment of my chapbook series. I guess that technically means these books aren’t exactly unpublished, but whatever; they’re out of print and definitely lost to the ether.
*Note: The chronological order of these next three or four is unclear. I’ll do my best.
SOMETHING: I think this was my first stab at a franchise. I planned four entries in the SOMETHING series. They were about a giant squid that kept coming back to attack a small town. I was definitely inspired by what little I knew of the Jaws movies (I wasn’t allowed to see them, but I had a working familiarity), the movie version of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Godzilla, and It Came from Beneath the Sea. There were submarines, cities leveled by tentacles, and damsels in distress. If I ever revisit this one (weirdly enough, writing this post makes me want to revisit all of this), I’d probably give it a different title. As before, the first book was released as one of my makeshift chapbooks. I don’t think the sequels ever got written, but I definitely drew covers for them. And no, I don’t have any of this artwork, unfortunately. Weirdly enough, I wanted to rework these a little bit after seeing the first two Alien movies. I planned the squids to evolve to also have arms and legs and heads that may or may not have been giant penises with teeth.
HAUNTED HOUSE: If you caught my interview on The Horror Show with Brian Keene, you already have a vague idea of what this book was about. Kids get caught in a haunted house inhabited by a clown that’s also a spider. The oldest kid starts dressing in black and wielding a samurai sword. The only original stroke I think I put was I had the clown bleed cotton candy. Still, this story captured my imagination for years, and it got me banned from show-and-tell in fourth grade.
SOMEONE WHO’S DEAD: Definitely one of my favorite titles I ever came up with. I don’t think I ever actually wrote this, so much as drew art for it. Basically, I had this guy who was like Freddy Krueger in that he kept coming back to kill new groups of kids, but for his look, I drew inspiration from the car accident victim on the cover of the original Pet Sematary film.
GRAVEDIGGERS: I don’t remember much except in the opening scene someone got their leg cut off and it upset my mom so I stopped writing it.
THE BOY AND HIS PET TIGER: I guess I wrote Life of Pi long before there was Life of Pi. It was definitely set in the jungle though, not on a boat.
VOYAGE OF A LIFETIME: A group of people travel to an island to explore and end up at odds with a reptilian guy who has an army of skeletons, zombies, and prehistoric crocodiles. Pretty cool.
WEREWOLF PARK: Jurassic Park but werewolves. No, I’m serious.
These were the standouts. I’m also pretty sure I wrote a sequel to The Blob called, IT’S THE BLOB! I know I wrote a shark story called IT (and proudly wrote a letter to Stephen King about my accomplishment). There was also a zombie story modeled after Night of the Living Dead, but the living souls were trapped in the undead bodies, and I had a lead zombie who looked like the grim reaper and carried around a cane. There was also a vampire book in there somewhere, but I don’t remember any other details.
This was fun. I think I may revisit these ideas now. Do a collection, maybe. Stay tuned for parts 2 and 3.